I worked my way out of homelessness doing online work. It has really saved me. Camming was the next step that got me out of poverty. This has been a very hard struggle for me because I've always been well off. I've never known how hard it was to be poor before this experience.
Ever since then I've had a problem with using food as a reward, and it has been very tough on me. I've been starving before and have almost died from it, so eating has become a luxury to me. I've passed out at work and hallucinated after hours from lack of food. It was bad. (I was so well off I had no idea what public assistance was and that food stamps existed. Give me a break.) This is not the mindset I want, and it's really been affecting my life. For example, if I don't see any food in the refrigerator I freak out in my head. It's an absurd emotional reaction. I am surrounded by an ocean of restaurants I can afford without an issue. There's a fucking grocery store 10 yards away from me, which is located across the street. Regardless, I still feel like I must force more food down my mouth and it's getting very bad.
As a side note, last year I got pregnant against my will. I gained a bunch of weight. Yes, it wasn't nearly as much weight as most girls carry. (~30-50 pounds) I've gotten all of the pregnancy weight off, but the skin itself is still pretty loose. I know I've lost the weight but there's still a roll when I bend over or sit down.
I know most of you haven't dealt with this issue to such an extreme, but it's been a real struggle for me. I've always has a small frame, and have weighed no more than 130 pounds my entire life. However, right now I'm at 140-145 pounds. This seems small at the moment, sure. But if I keep doing this I'm going to weigh 200 pounds by the end of the year according to my calculations. I've been eating 2500 calories a day and it's getting out of control.
The bottom line is I've worked entirely too hard to fail because of my weight. There have been days I've had to work 10 hours to get where I want to be. I'm finally where here, but the only thing that comforts me is a huge meal at the end of the day. I just focus on food, and I love the sugars and snack foods.
I'm worried. My fiance doesn't seem to think it's a big deal because he doesn't see the effects of my dietary habits yet.
TL;DR: Having problems using food as a reward instead of having a healthy outlook on diet. It's getting very bad.
How do you girls eat healthy? What other things do you use to motivate yourself at the end of the day? Has anyone ever set up a meal chart; if so, was it easy to follow? How can this be stopped and sustained before it gets any worse?
Ever since then I've had a problem with using food as a reward, and it has been very tough on me. I've been starving before and have almost died from it, so eating has become a luxury to me. I've passed out at work and hallucinated after hours from lack of food. It was bad. (I was so well off I had no idea what public assistance was and that food stamps existed. Give me a break.) This is not the mindset I want, and it's really been affecting my life. For example, if I don't see any food in the refrigerator I freak out in my head. It's an absurd emotional reaction. I am surrounded by an ocean of restaurants I can afford without an issue. There's a fucking grocery store 10 yards away from me, which is located across the street. Regardless, I still feel like I must force more food down my mouth and it's getting very bad.
As a side note, last year I got pregnant against my will. I gained a bunch of weight. Yes, it wasn't nearly as much weight as most girls carry. (~30-50 pounds) I've gotten all of the pregnancy weight off, but the skin itself is still pretty loose. I know I've lost the weight but there's still a roll when I bend over or sit down.
I know most of you haven't dealt with this issue to such an extreme, but it's been a real struggle for me. I've always has a small frame, and have weighed no more than 130 pounds my entire life. However, right now I'm at 140-145 pounds. This seems small at the moment, sure. But if I keep doing this I'm going to weigh 200 pounds by the end of the year according to my calculations. I've been eating 2500 calories a day and it's getting out of control.
The bottom line is I've worked entirely too hard to fail because of my weight. There have been days I've had to work 10 hours to get where I want to be. I'm finally where here, but the only thing that comforts me is a huge meal at the end of the day. I just focus on food, and I love the sugars and snack foods.
I'm worried. My fiance doesn't seem to think it's a big deal because he doesn't see the effects of my dietary habits yet.
TL;DR: Having problems using food as a reward instead of having a healthy outlook on diet. It's getting very bad.
How do you girls eat healthy? What other things do you use to motivate yourself at the end of the day? Has anyone ever set up a meal chart; if so, was it easy to follow? How can this be stopped and sustained before it gets any worse?
The second thing is I have been wearing myself out working seven or eight hour days, excluding breaks, to meet my money goals. There are $200 days and it brings me comfort to know I'm doing better than 80% of US citizens, but I've been getting stressed and obsessive about the digits. Sometimes I don't even think $200 a day is enough.