streamate
Full Member
So I have one regular that is a really good spender, so naturally he gets more attention from me and I do make some exceptions (like going online, even when I wasn't planning to) for him, just because I know that it'll fill my wallet with extra cash at the end of the day..
Now, he is a dominant, and since I am naturally submissive in general, I didn't see it as any problem and figured that this should be easy enough.
Mind you, I have NEVER had any kind of dom/sub-relationship with anyone and not much experience in the matter (other than the occaisonal person stumbling into my chatroom wanting ME to dominate them). My personality is drawn back and submissive, which he noticed (and perhaps that's what attracted him to me in the first place), but that doesn't mean that I like being stepped on.
Recently, him and me began exchanging e-mails (a perfect way to make even more money off of him) and this is when things stepped up a little and he made it clear that what he wanted was a dom/sub-relationship.
It pays my bills, so I play along, while thinking "you fucking idiot", as I observe these mindgames that he is trying to play with me.. Just tiny things, but I can see them and I know what he is trying to do.
Suddenly I feel like I am a character in "50 shades of grey" (okay, I admit that I haven't read the book, but still), and I am annoyed..
I think my problem is that, even though I am submissive by nature, I don't like being talked down to or made feel like I am below someone. As a result, these mindgames and his language-use against me is getting on my nerves.. It isn't fucking with my head (which I think might be the intention), it is just making me angry.
So yesterday, as I was replying to another one of this e-mails, I was muttering to myself and wondering when I would eventually snap in real time (while in PVT with him or whatever) and then ruin a good income.
Basically, my question is; to those of you that do this, either regularly or occaisonally, how do you keep from letting it get to you and make you insane?
Now that he has daily contact with me as well, it seems like he has stepped it up a notch at the same time, and since it's daily, I feel like it is starting to get to me, unlike before when I could just do a PVT, be a "good girl" and then brush it off and go on with my life..
Now, he is a dominant, and since I am naturally submissive in general, I didn't see it as any problem and figured that this should be easy enough.
Mind you, I have NEVER had any kind of dom/sub-relationship with anyone and not much experience in the matter (other than the occaisonal person stumbling into my chatroom wanting ME to dominate them). My personality is drawn back and submissive, which he noticed (and perhaps that's what attracted him to me in the first place), but that doesn't mean that I like being stepped on.
Recently, him and me began exchanging e-mails (a perfect way to make even more money off of him) and this is when things stepped up a little and he made it clear that what he wanted was a dom/sub-relationship.
It pays my bills, so I play along, while thinking "you fucking idiot", as I observe these mindgames that he is trying to play with me.. Just tiny things, but I can see them and I know what he is trying to do.
Suddenly I feel like I am a character in "50 shades of grey" (okay, I admit that I haven't read the book, but still), and I am annoyed..
I think my problem is that, even though I am submissive by nature, I don't like being talked down to or made feel like I am below someone. As a result, these mindgames and his language-use against me is getting on my nerves.. It isn't fucking with my head (which I think might be the intention), it is just making me angry.
So yesterday, as I was replying to another one of this e-mails, I was muttering to myself and wondering when I would eventually snap in real time (while in PVT with him or whatever) and then ruin a good income.
Basically, my question is; to those of you that do this, either regularly or occaisonally, how do you keep from letting it get to you and make you insane?
Now that he has daily contact with me as well, it seems like he has stepped it up a notch at the same time, and since it's daily, I feel like it is starting to get to me, unlike before when I could just do a PVT, be a "good girl" and then brush it off and go on with my life..
