bongacams
Hero Member
I've always wondered how it would feel if (more like when) somebody i knew saw me on cam. Before anyone says anything about geo-blocking, i do it, but only in my current state. I'm kind of a nomad and i've lived in several major cities the past few years. I have no contact with my family (dis-owned, as they say) so i could give a shit less if they saw.
That being said, i had a terrifying experience several weeks ago that kept me away frrom the cam for a long time. Someone who sexually assaulted me and then trashed my apartment when i was in college found me. He even had the audacity to repeatedly PM, asking where i was, calling me all kinds of names and saying that he "can't wait til we "hook up" again"
I can't describe how this made me feel. Especaially considering the fact that i was in the middle of a show and was faced with the delimma of continuing to perform with a poker face, acting like nothing was wrong, while those memories were triggered in my head and i was experiencing flashbacks.
I blocked him, logged off, and just cried. I couldn't cam for weeks because of the memories. It's really difficult doing this job sometimes. I wonder if i still can, but i'm sure i can't do a vanilla job, so i feel so fucking trapped sometimes...
I'm sorry if that's kinda too heavy for this forum. I've had nobody to talk to about this, so i wanted to just vent.
That being said, i had a terrifying experience several weeks ago that kept me away frrom the cam for a long time. Someone who sexually assaulted me and then trashed my apartment when i was in college found me. He even had the audacity to repeatedly PM, asking where i was, calling me all kinds of names and saying that he "can't wait til we "hook up" again"
I can't describe how this made me feel. Especaially considering the fact that i was in the middle of a show and was faced with the delimma of continuing to perform with a poker face, acting like nothing was wrong, while those memories were triggered in my head and i was experiencing flashbacks.
I blocked him, logged off, and just cried. I couldn't cam for weeks because of the memories. It's really difficult doing this job sometimes. I wonder if i still can, but i'm sure i can't do a vanilla job, so i feel so fucking trapped sometimes...
I'm sorry if that's kinda too heavy for this forum. I've had nobody to talk to about this, so i wanted to just vent.
