bongacams
Hero Member
I just wanted to start out by saying everything I am typing to you is true. Most internet stories have fabrications and over exaggerations, just like telling your friends a story in real life. This is not one of those stories.
I. What happened
So recently I have discovered that false eyelashes bring in a lot more customers. The end result is a four hour day with 6/8ths of it being in private or exclusive. The normal stats were 4/8ths (one half), which is roughly 25 minutes out on an hour. This is one of the biggest jumps I have ever had with the exception of new software.
Anyway, my makeup and hair take an hour or more to do in the morning. I guess this is because I have to do basic stage makeup to look nearly presentable on camera. I know that guys an girls say they like the natural look so much better, but that's a lie because if it was true my numbers would not drop or heighten depending on the amount of makeup I wear. It's a frustrating and infuriating process because my cat loves getting into everything and I hate shutting the door while I'm doing my makeup because it makes me feel lonely and sad.
Regardless, it takes me 4 hours from the time I wake up to set up my camera, makeup, camming station, outfits, and ect. Sometimes it takes as little as 3, but that is only on a good day. Well today I spent 5 hours on makeup alone. I spent 5 hours trying to apply and reapply these stupid eyelashes, but frankly they were old and were not going to glue to my face no matter how long I tried it. Eventually I completely lost my patience and decided to go with the more bare and natural looking pair.
(I would like to make it clear that my makeup still looks classic and natural. On camera it just looks like I'm wearing mascara and eyeliner. The lights really drown me out, and I do not have other light options at the moment so this is the best I can do and it has been working. I do not wear trashy looking garbage. I assure you it looks professional enough on camera to wear to a business meeting.)
Well that was an absolute disaster once I logged in. No one took me private and my traffic slowed to a complete crawl. I could refresh the page and see my ranking drop every 5 minutes. I don't have much to offer because I refuse to sell myself for $1 GOLD Shows, so no one taking me private devastated me.
I'm upset because whenever I wear the stupid eyelashes and makeup I get the one token guy a week say "I love your look, but you would look so much better without the eyelashes." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. I see the numbers, I know I'm not wrong in my analysis that the guys love my look so much better now. Yes, if you have knowledge about some makeup you will know that I'm obviously wearing some. But I hate when I get that one person complain because these ar the guys who say they love the natural look, but then immediately point out the girl who is wearing subdued makeup. They do not know what makeup is. It's so angering. It pisses me off more than anything.
II. Why it frustrated me
It frustrated me because I have the numbers and know that the majority of the guys like what I am dressed like, and the rest just think cam models are angels who wake up looking like God's girlfriend. No. Just no. Even porn stars look terrible without makeup. I grew up with my mother who modeled for a living, so I know how to achieve the 'blank canvas' look. I want guys to be able to project their fantasies, thoughts, and feelings on to me. In my room everything is a neutral color and my bra and panties generally are too. Sometimes I'll wear a bright colored bra but that's as far as I go for my own personality. And it works. Unfortunately, these guys just want to take it a step further and I hat how it's an issue. Look, if something I am wearing gets me less privates you better be damn sure I'm going to be wearing the thing that attracts business. I seriously want to curse the token guy out and log off for the day because it upsets me that badly, but I have money to make. It's depressing.
I guess I feel like I'm stuck in a position where guys want me to be everything to them and I cannot sacrifice anymore of myself. I get that they are lonely and need someone to have feelings for. I understand that men get horny. I'm just kind of sick of pleasing dicks with nothing in return. It's rarely satisfying. There's customers I have grown to love but they never log into my room just to talk to me. I get lonely. I hate using toys because they give my blisters. My pussy gets swollen at the end of the day and it's a lot of hard work. I don't understand how $1 per minute makes me owe them. At the end of the day I don't get much if you count taxes. I just want to be able to express myself without having anyone complain.
The last thing is that I feel like camgirl Tiffany and I are very different people, and it's tough balancing myself. I'm not actually very sexual in person, and when I do feel that way it's only because I really love that person. I never feel comfortable doing it when I'm not in a committed and monogamous relationship. Tiffany acts like a complete slut, and she doesn't have any real friends. People are friends with her because they want to sleep with her. Tiffany cares about how much money guys make. I care about what people's thoughts, feelings, and ideas are. Tiffany is also stupid because guys do not like it when she is smarter than they are.
III. Why guys are stupid
I really wish guys knew what they wanted and understood how difficult my job is. I wish they would stop asking me to hook up with them or trying to hire my as a hooker. I'm not a cheap hooker! I will not sleep with you for cash, no matter how much you offer! This camsite is not a dating service; I will not marry you. Please stop falling in lust with me and confusing it with love. I do not want to hear that you love me to tell you that I love you while in a private session, no matter how much you pay me. Guys don't know what they want until you show them.
IV. Reasons I enjoy webcamming and won't stop
Webcamming is easily the most rewarding job I have ever had. I've met some amazing people and and I enjoy it for the most part. I would rather sell myself here in a safe environment where I have many benefits than slave away at a minimum wage job. The majority of the time I truly enjoy it. I don't want to quit and do not feel like I need to. But today was easily one of the worst days I have ever had camming and I am having a hard time with motivation. I just needed to get this off my chest.
I. What happened
So recently I have discovered that false eyelashes bring in a lot more customers. The end result is a four hour day with 6/8ths of it being in private or exclusive. The normal stats were 4/8ths (one half), which is roughly 25 minutes out on an hour. This is one of the biggest jumps I have ever had with the exception of new software.
Anyway, my makeup and hair take an hour or more to do in the morning. I guess this is because I have to do basic stage makeup to look nearly presentable on camera. I know that guys an girls say they like the natural look so much better, but that's a lie because if it was true my numbers would not drop or heighten depending on the amount of makeup I wear. It's a frustrating and infuriating process because my cat loves getting into everything and I hate shutting the door while I'm doing my makeup because it makes me feel lonely and sad.
Regardless, it takes me 4 hours from the time I wake up to set up my camera, makeup, camming station, outfits, and ect. Sometimes it takes as little as 3, but that is only on a good day. Well today I spent 5 hours on makeup alone. I spent 5 hours trying to apply and reapply these stupid eyelashes, but frankly they were old and were not going to glue to my face no matter how long I tried it. Eventually I completely lost my patience and decided to go with the more bare and natural looking pair.
(I would like to make it clear that my makeup still looks classic and natural. On camera it just looks like I'm wearing mascara and eyeliner. The lights really drown me out, and I do not have other light options at the moment so this is the best I can do and it has been working. I do not wear trashy looking garbage. I assure you it looks professional enough on camera to wear to a business meeting.)
Well that was an absolute disaster once I logged in. No one took me private and my traffic slowed to a complete crawl. I could refresh the page and see my ranking drop every 5 minutes. I don't have much to offer because I refuse to sell myself for $1 GOLD Shows, so no one taking me private devastated me.
I'm upset because whenever I wear the stupid eyelashes and makeup I get the one token guy a week say "I love your look, but you would look so much better without the eyelashes." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. I see the numbers, I know I'm not wrong in my analysis that the guys love my look so much better now. Yes, if you have knowledge about some makeup you will know that I'm obviously wearing some. But I hate when I get that one person complain because these ar the guys who say they love the natural look, but then immediately point out the girl who is wearing subdued makeup. They do not know what makeup is. It's so angering. It pisses me off more than anything.
II. Why it frustrated me
It frustrated me because I have the numbers and know that the majority of the guys like what I am dressed like, and the rest just think cam models are angels who wake up looking like God's girlfriend. No. Just no. Even porn stars look terrible without makeup. I grew up with my mother who modeled for a living, so I know how to achieve the 'blank canvas' look. I want guys to be able to project their fantasies, thoughts, and feelings on to me. In my room everything is a neutral color and my bra and panties generally are too. Sometimes I'll wear a bright colored bra but that's as far as I go for my own personality. And it works. Unfortunately, these guys just want to take it a step further and I hat how it's an issue. Look, if something I am wearing gets me less privates you better be damn sure I'm going to be wearing the thing that attracts business. I seriously want to curse the token guy out and log off for the day because it upsets me that badly, but I have money to make. It's depressing.
I guess I feel like I'm stuck in a position where guys want me to be everything to them and I cannot sacrifice anymore of myself. I get that they are lonely and need someone to have feelings for. I understand that men get horny. I'm just kind of sick of pleasing dicks with nothing in return. It's rarely satisfying. There's customers I have grown to love but they never log into my room just to talk to me. I get lonely. I hate using toys because they give my blisters. My pussy gets swollen at the end of the day and it's a lot of hard work. I don't understand how $1 per minute makes me owe them. At the end of the day I don't get much if you count taxes. I just want to be able to express myself without having anyone complain.
The last thing is that I feel like camgirl Tiffany and I are very different people, and it's tough balancing myself. I'm not actually very sexual in person, and when I do feel that way it's only because I really love that person. I never feel comfortable doing it when I'm not in a committed and monogamous relationship. Tiffany acts like a complete slut, and she doesn't have any real friends. People are friends with her because they want to sleep with her. Tiffany cares about how much money guys make. I care about what people's thoughts, feelings, and ideas are. Tiffany is also stupid because guys do not like it when she is smarter than they are.
III. Why guys are stupid
I really wish guys knew what they wanted and understood how difficult my job is. I wish they would stop asking me to hook up with them or trying to hire my as a hooker. I'm not a cheap hooker! I will not sleep with you for cash, no matter how much you offer! This camsite is not a dating service; I will not marry you. Please stop falling in lust with me and confusing it with love. I do not want to hear that you love me to tell you that I love you while in a private session, no matter how much you pay me. Guys don't know what they want until you show them.
IV. Reasons I enjoy webcamming and won't stop
Webcamming is easily the most rewarding job I have ever had. I've met some amazing people and and I enjoy it for the most part. I would rather sell myself here in a safe environment where I have many benefits than slave away at a minimum wage job. The majority of the time I truly enjoy it. I don't want to quit and do not feel like I need to. But today was easily one of the worst days I have ever had camming and I am having a hard time with motivation. I just needed to get this off my chest.
