Dealing with haters/trolls and negative comments

[clips4sale]

So this is probably the hardest part for me to handle as a cam girl. I know this happens to all, I don't think I have ever been to a room without rude, nasty comments, that are just ridiculous since the girls are amazing, no matter how amazing, they all get them.

I have days that I find myself more prone to have them get to me... other days I can just shove them off more easily.
Yesterday a guy who used to be one of my mods (that I demoded since he was constantly pming me not allowing me to do my show, after all I'm not there to chat for fun I'm there to make money) he ruined last night's show by being extremely rude, saying no wonder my room was always empty since my vagina was disgusting and I had small tits (I know this is not true, he was probably one of my most loyal followers prior to this incident) so after throwing his diva fit and ruining my mood and everyone's else in the room I had to control myself to not tell him to go fuck off in cam (I have a problem with not confronting people the moment they are instigating me and just let it go) and just ban him. After banning him he had ruined my mood and I apologized to the room and left.... it got to me even if I know those insults where absolutely stupid, untrue and came from someone who was trying to get at me.

I admire cam girls that don't let trolls ruin their mood or nasty comments get to them.... I have began to question if maybe I'm too "soft skinned" for this businesss, because this is and will always be a part of it. I'm trying to work on my self esteem every day and it may sound strange but every time comments get less to me.... it's like my self esteem has started to toughen up slowly after each show, maybe out of necessity who knows. I remember the first day I cammed some guys called me fat and ugly and I was in the border of tears... now I don't think it would get me as hard as that.

I would really like to know how you ladies and gentleman who have worked longer in this, deal with the negative comments and the trolling, and how do you manage to not let it get to you. Your inputs are much appreciated!

 

[clips4sale]

I've dealt with trolls in real life for quite a part of My life. In My youth, I allowed others' opinions of Me deeply affect how I felt about Myself. When I realized that people would find reasons to dislike Me, no matter what I changed about Myself, and, they were going on with their lives happily while I was a wreck - I decided to stop.
There is no flaw about Myself of which I am unaware.
I know the things I can and cannot change.
At the end of the day, I have to live with Myself - any changes to be made or perceived flaws, must be handled by Me.
As far as camming is concerned and sexwork - by the time I started, I'd already developed dissonance and self-awareness, which really helped.
I don't respond to compliments or to negativity. Both are fleeting and subject to change in the blink of an eye. And in this industry, very seldom are compliments paid without agenda.
As narcissistic and materialistic as this sounds, My primary focus is money.
I don't turn to My sex work to feel good about Myself. I feel good about Myself as a rule. Sure, I am subject to horrid days when I think gosh, I'm utter rubbish, innit? But those feelings get dealt with pragmatically, and personally.
When I log on or go to see a client, it is with a firm sense of self. This doesn't happen over night. This took Me (at least) years to master.
The men who come into My room and insult Me are usually quite upset because they find themselves without a target. I simply ignore them. I talk to those who are interested in what I am providing, or I just listen to My music, etc. etc.
It's all about reaction. It's easy to be an asshole on the internet. Most of these fools would cower from you if you met them in real life. They do it because they have little control over their own lives and circumstances, and it's a rush to be able to say something mean, and watch someone crumble.
Thick skin is a superficial fix. It just hides soft flesh. What your focus should be is self-assessment.
How do I feel about MYSELF today? If you're not 100%, don't work. But if you're operating at full confident capacity, allow no one to break that. The term "don't feed the trolls" is completely true. Starve them. Give them NOTHING.
Best of luck doll, and chin up

 

[clips4sale]

BigBellaNova... every single word you said is so true, so wise and inspirational to me. I'm working on that 100% and I know it takes much time and work, because it is about, like you said, gaining a deep level of self awareness, but it's something that not only affects me on this business, it affects how I operate in my life, and I will be so much more free when I can get there. I really had forgot about how not feeding them is their worst punishment. They frustate me because I wish they had the balls to say what they are saying to my face.... I'm very certain they would just run before doing so because hiding behind a screen gives this weak people a sense of strength they lack in real life, which translate to cowardness in my books. I will gladly not feed them anymore, and I'm going to keep my chin up, thank you so much