so, some of you know that I come from a pretty stinky background with my family. A while back I was stupid enough to move back in with my very abusive mother, and basically my life turned into a bad cycle of knowing that I need to get out, but not being sure how because dealing with her sucked the life out of me and basically turned me into a zombie.. Desperation kicks in and this guy managed to catch me at the appropriate time and convince me to marry him. It sounded like a good idea at the time, so now here I sit on the other side of the world regretting my very stupid decision. At first it was nice and he was very friendly and caring towards me. I felt safe. Then the instant I signed the marriage-papers, he turned into a different person. While he hasn't physically abused me, he has been very mean and degrading to me. Barely a day goes by without him telling me that I'm a fat stupid bitch and gold digger. I always feel anxious and on edge when he is home and my home doesn't even feel like my home - my stuff is still packed in my suitcases, even though I have been here for 3 months already.
It didn't take long for me to decide that a divorce is needed, and now I have been making plans for how to make it happen, in terms of saving up cash and finding a place to stay after I leave, etc. setting up a plan has made me feel a bit better, even though I am still stuck here for at least another month or two.
But, now I have a different problem, which is why I am writing this entry, because I really don't have a clue of how to handle this situation. About two weeks ago, I met a guy. I didn't take it very seriously at first, because I am really not interested in another relationship for a while, and certainly not while I'm dealing with this whole divorce-crap. But little by little, this guy has been sneaking into my life and now we message back and forth every day, and he is giving me those butterflies-in-the-stomach feelings and all that other lovey-dovey crap.. We haven't had sex and he lives a few hours away, which I consider a blessing at the moment because I don't know how to handle the situation if he was closer and could meet up with me regularly. Also, I have no intention of getting into a physical intimate relationship with him until the divorce is final. Even just talking to him makes me feel like the most horrible person in the world. He doesn't know about my situation and honestly I don't know how to tell him about it either or if I even should..
At the moment I don't have anyone else to talk to about this, which is why I am writing this. I need advice, I really don't know what to do.. I don't even know how I ended up in this situation..
It didn't take long for me to decide that a divorce is needed, and now I have been making plans for how to make it happen, in terms of saving up cash and finding a place to stay after I leave, etc. setting up a plan has made me feel a bit better, even though I am still stuck here for at least another month or two.
But, now I have a different problem, which is why I am writing this entry, because I really don't have a clue of how to handle this situation. About two weeks ago, I met a guy. I didn't take it very seriously at first, because I am really not interested in another relationship for a while, and certainly not while I'm dealing with this whole divorce-crap. But little by little, this guy has been sneaking into my life and now we message back and forth every day, and he is giving me those butterflies-in-the-stomach feelings and all that other lovey-dovey crap.. We haven't had sex and he lives a few hours away, which I consider a blessing at the moment because I don't know how to handle the situation if he was closer and could meet up with me regularly. Also, I have no intention of getting into a physical intimate relationship with him until the divorce is final. Even just talking to him makes me feel like the most horrible person in the world. He doesn't know about my situation and honestly I don't know how to tell him about it either or if I even should..
At the moment I don't have anyone else to talk to about this, which is why I am writing this. I need advice, I really don't know what to do.. I don't even know how I ended up in this situation..
