How did I let this happen?

[jerkmate]

Third year mature cam model who has worked a variety of sites and never really let anyone close to me. I broke that rule and thought I had a friend (he paid and even continued to go private even after our "friendship" fully developed. I am so disappointed in myself. He's like everyone else that we deal with on a daily basis. I cannot believe I actually got caught up in some "emotions" with this job as I have always, always, kept them at arms length. Wow, this one got deeper inside of me....only to disappointment me. Wow...when will I learn if not at 50+?????? Thanks for letting me vent. So disappointed in MYSELF!! It's not him, it's me. Wow, I am the one in control but somehow I forgot that for a moment and then poof....heartache and disappointment.