I was outed at work back in 2008ish. People tend to follow your lead, in person.
I had the attitude of "what were YOU doing looking at porn?" and "oh, ofcourse this is where I learned video editing and production - I never lied and listed any schools for that". "this is my private life after work, I didn't bring it to work, Jim was the one who looked and told everyone... so why are you continuing to make a big deal out of this?". Surprisingly, the scandal was over within a few weeks. It was still incredibly stressful and traumatic!
More recently, I've had people I know who were on business trips find me in cam rooms and on social media. Luckily for me, they weren't shaming, but they were idiots and giving out my city and personal info, so they got blocked and banned. One guy, who outed me by my real name on my KaitlinK instagram, was so clueless and emailed me - I sent him a short email about how I respect HIS privacy in not outing him to his family on his personal facebook profile and I appreciate the same. Then I blocked him on ALL accounts.
I would block within a few surrounding states... but it still won't deal with those determined to find you, those on business trips, etc.
The shaming fucktards in person, I was like "so can you give me a part time after work job that pays XX/hour and is flexible?"
Depending on WHO they are... I had to play the wayward young woman sucked into the awful internet influences with a few VERY conservative people.
The GOOD thing about SOME people (especially conservative women) is that they won't look at porn or get on those sites and WILL take your word that you're totally off. Usually they've heard gossip or caught their husbands, and they really don't want to feel dirty looking at such "awful sin".
Have some canned responses ready for in-person and online. A few of mine:
"What are YOU doing LOOKING?"
"I trust that you will respect MY private life as I am respecting yours __real name__"
"You need to fuck off and mind your own business"
"My private life is not up for discussion or debate."
"I'm going through a personal sinning phase, please pray for me, I'll talk to Jesus/my pastor ASAP privately. I appreciate your prayers and discretion while I grapple with my sins." (they don't catch the sarcasm, ever).
"You're not my friend. Leave me alone."
The good thing is that people have short memories. Act offended and change the subject. Don't explain or over-explain. You don't owe THEM anything and they need to feel embarrassed for looking. Block and ban. Try to educate and talk sense into the 1% you think might be more open minded. Don't feel bad if you find yourself chewing someone out, they probably deserved it and if it makes you feel better then it's all good (and a consequence to them for being intrusive trolls). If you really feel like getting revenge, post public screenshots to their employers' facebook pages (this has worked for me, in cases of PETA trolls).
They'll find another slut to shame soon.
Hopefully you have some good friends to vent to!
