Hey girls. Join me to this topic please, i know can sound silly for some of you but really makes sense for me, and i know lots of girls just have the same issue than me. My anxiety was very controlled for very long, i have what we call attention deficit disorder since im very young, what means my brain works too good lol, i think too much and i just had to find ways to stop and relax, and it was everything controlled till the time i realise a few things about the website i was camming, and then ive just started what we can call a snowball of bad decisions because i tought that was the only website i was able to have income...
So is better talk about the things i just dont do anymore or just changed because it was really sabotaging my incomes:
. Watching too much other models and comparing too much myself with them (at the first i started just to learn and worked, i was almost virgin when i started lol, didnt know nothing but when ive learned with porn and watching or with my boyfriend lol, i just realise suddenly i was feeling worst and worst, i never felt ugly but i had that tought on my mind that i could have something wrong with myself)
.Trying hard to keep working on that website that didnt respected my rights (so was some long days where and as i had on mind that i was bad and it was my fault doing less than other girls, that days was getting worst and worst because i just had negative toughts and i was working against my beliefes)
.I just asked today to get my account deleted there and suddenly i felt like i was meditating lol, no guilty at all, i just dont care if i will have to start over again and build new fans and followers i feel like is a fresh new start and i need it on another place that respects me and treat me like equal.
.I stopped to trying exaggeratedly hard, is serious girls, i just wouldnt cam if i didnt worked out that day or if my make up or skin is not perfect, i read less the foruns topics (sorry for this one guys) because i realise some little imperfections we can have make us more interesting and no one can be perfect as i was trying to be SO MUCH.
.I removed 2 things that i just hate to do sexually from my shows and i realised thats okay, i mean, im not being petty, i still do a lot of things as i am very open minded sexually and i love the way my sex life is, but there was 2 things that i was literally obliging myself to do because i tought that would brings me lots of money, can be true but i am the kind of girl that you will see very clearly when i am doing something that i dont like, so i prefer 10 people happy and being potential regulars than some people asking themselves if my show was good not coming back because it was a weak and sad show, now i just keep my position when a viewer ask me 2 or 3 times about a sexual thing and starts to be annoying and too persistent, if he goes away, is okay, others will come on his time.
.I am just being myself, so of course i am never in a bad mood on camera LOL, but if i dont want to smile i will not being smile too much just to pretend and turn my show into something weird and uncomfortable, i am sorry, i know lots of girls adviced me to keep smilling and dancing or something but i believe this is the kind of advice that doesnt work for everybody, now that i am pretending less and being more natural i am able to stay more hours and get less tired, more people is comming and joinning my room, i bet i look robotic a few times on the past, LOL, ive worked on sales also a few years ago and i just remember my stupid and rude boss saying all the time, you have to smile showing your teeth all the freaking time, and i kept that attitude lol, i know, what i had on my mind Smiley xD?! But now to survive to dead minutes and we know sometimes they look like hours i just read something or talk with a friend on computer with messenger oppened or something like that, lots of people gonna say is wrong and i know it is, but at least i can keep on streams on that way and i stay motivated and not having negative toughts because i am too hyperactive to deal good with empty and boring minutes, i get bored easily if i dont find something to do.
.Yes, a take breaks: i am saying this because that website where i quit adviced me i was not doing money because i take breaks lol, so i had a few days where i was literally crying because after 1 or 2 hours without a single sale (because ive raised my prices to the same that other girls), not taking breaks was driving me even worst and i realise the less income comparing with american girls (im European and that was my main problem on that website) was not my fault and totally out of my control. So now i dont take 1 break each 5 minutes but something like 5 or 10 minutes in each 2 hours, damn yes, specially because im always drinking water Smiley xD
And well girls, ive changed a lot and is working, i am sorry for this long text and i am sorry about not mentioning the website but i believe you know already wich website is lol and i dont want that website to be the center of discussion, thats not my intention at all, i am sorry, i know lots of things i am mentioning can be very wrong "advices" for some models but ive learned latelly that not all common advices for cam industry works good for everybody and is a natural journey realise what kind of show or girl you are.
So i would love if you girls could tell me how you deal with anxiety what was your cam girl "problems" or challenges till now? Actually there was a model who clarified it for me even unintentionally writting a post about that website where i was, that totally made me see what i was doing wrong. I love camming, it has been a great and challenging road.
So is better talk about the things i just dont do anymore or just changed because it was really sabotaging my incomes:
. Watching too much other models and comparing too much myself with them (at the first i started just to learn and worked, i was almost virgin when i started lol, didnt know nothing but when ive learned with porn and watching or with my boyfriend lol, i just realise suddenly i was feeling worst and worst, i never felt ugly but i had that tought on my mind that i could have something wrong with myself)
.Trying hard to keep working on that website that didnt respected my rights (so was some long days where and as i had on mind that i was bad and it was my fault doing less than other girls, that days was getting worst and worst because i just had negative toughts and i was working against my beliefes)
.I just asked today to get my account deleted there and suddenly i felt like i was meditating lol, no guilty at all, i just dont care if i will have to start over again and build new fans and followers i feel like is a fresh new start and i need it on another place that respects me and treat me like equal.
.I stopped to trying exaggeratedly hard, is serious girls, i just wouldnt cam if i didnt worked out that day or if my make up or skin is not perfect, i read less the foruns topics (sorry for this one guys) because i realise some little imperfections we can have make us more interesting and no one can be perfect as i was trying to be SO MUCH.
.I removed 2 things that i just hate to do sexually from my shows and i realised thats okay, i mean, im not being petty, i still do a lot of things as i am very open minded sexually and i love the way my sex life is, but there was 2 things that i was literally obliging myself to do because i tought that would brings me lots of money, can be true but i am the kind of girl that you will see very clearly when i am doing something that i dont like, so i prefer 10 people happy and being potential regulars than some people asking themselves if my show was good not coming back because it was a weak and sad show, now i just keep my position when a viewer ask me 2 or 3 times about a sexual thing and starts to be annoying and too persistent, if he goes away, is okay, others will come on his time.
.I am just being myself, so of course i am never in a bad mood on camera LOL, but if i dont want to smile i will not being smile too much just to pretend and turn my show into something weird and uncomfortable, i am sorry, i know lots of girls adviced me to keep smilling and dancing or something but i believe this is the kind of advice that doesnt work for everybody, now that i am pretending less and being more natural i am able to stay more hours and get less tired, more people is comming and joinning my room, i bet i look robotic a few times on the past, LOL, ive worked on sales also a few years ago and i just remember my stupid and rude boss saying all the time, you have to smile showing your teeth all the freaking time, and i kept that attitude lol, i know, what i had on my mind Smiley xD?! But now to survive to dead minutes and we know sometimes they look like hours i just read something or talk with a friend on computer with messenger oppened or something like that, lots of people gonna say is wrong and i know it is, but at least i can keep on streams on that way and i stay motivated and not having negative toughts because i am too hyperactive to deal good with empty and boring minutes, i get bored easily if i dont find something to do.
.Yes, a take breaks: i am saying this because that website where i quit adviced me i was not doing money because i take breaks lol, so i had a few days where i was literally crying because after 1 or 2 hours without a single sale (because ive raised my prices to the same that other girls), not taking breaks was driving me even worst and i realise the less income comparing with american girls (im European and that was my main problem on that website) was not my fault and totally out of my control. So now i dont take 1 break each 5 minutes but something like 5 or 10 minutes in each 2 hours, damn yes, specially because im always drinking water Smiley xD
And well girls, ive changed a lot and is working, i am sorry for this long text and i am sorry about not mentioning the website but i believe you know already wich website is lol and i dont want that website to be the center of discussion, thats not my intention at all, i am sorry, i know lots of things i am mentioning can be very wrong "advices" for some models but ive learned latelly that not all common advices for cam industry works good for everybody and is a natural journey realise what kind of show or girl you are.
So i would love if you girls could tell me how you deal with anxiety what was your cam girl "problems" or challenges till now? Actually there was a model who clarified it for me even unintentionally writting a post about that website where i was, that totally made me see what i was doing wrong. I love camming, it has been a great and challenging road.
